My Toddler Doesn't Pretend — Should I Teach Them?

Other kids are feeding teddy bears and talking into toy phones. Your toddler picks up the plastic spoon, looks at it, and puts it down. You wonder if you should show them how.

Usually, you don't need to teach pretend play like a lesson. Most children learn it by watching the people they love play, and by having a little space and a little company.

1What Pretend Play Looks Like at Different Ages

ZERO TO THREE, a US early childhood organization, describes pretend play as a gradual skill. From about 18 to 24 months, toddlers often act out everyday actions, like sweeping the floor, stirring a pot, or holding a toy phone to their ear. Realistic kid-sized toys work well for this stage.

Between about 24 and 36 months, children start using one object to stand in for another, like a block that becomes a phone. This is sometimes called symbolic play, and it's an important building block for language and later learning.

If your child is in the first stage and not doing much yet, that is still within the range of normal. Children differ a lot in when they start.

2How to Join In

1. 1
   Let your toddler lead. If they hand you a cup, say "Thank you for the tea!" and pretend to drink it. You don't have to plan the game. Follow their lead.
2. 2
   Model simple actions. Stir a pot, feed a doll, or drive a car across the floor. Your toddler may copy you, which is the first step toward pretend play.
3. 3
   Ask open questions. "What is the baby hungry for?" or "Where are the cars going?" gives your child a chance to add their own ideas.
4. 4
   Choose simple toys. Toy phones, plastic food, dolls, vehicles, and cardboard boxes are all good. Dress-up clothes can be a fun add-on.
5. 5
   Leave time to play. Don't rush to tidy up after play. Children often return to the same pretend scene again and again, and that repetition helps them learn.

3When to Look More Closely

Most toddlers who don't pretend yet are simply in a slower stage. If your child shows little interest in toys, people, or games in general, or if you have other concerns about how they're developing, talk with your pediatrician. That's a conversation worth having, not a sign you've missed something.

4The Bottom Line

Keep the toys simple, follow your child's lead, and be a willing playmate. The pretend play will usually come when they feel safe, interested, and included.