Is It OK to Walk Away or Ignore My Toddler During a Tantrum?

When a tantrum has been going for ten minutes and you're running out of patience, leaving the room can feel like giving up — or like the only sane option left. Both NHS and CDC guidance treat some version of stepping back as legitimate, but they're more specific about it than a flat "ignore it."

1Stepping Away: Yes, With One Condition

NHS guidance says that, at home, you can go into another room for a while during a tantrum — with one condition stated up front: make sure your child cannot hurt themselves before you do. It also points out that losing your temper or shouting back "will not end the tantrum" any faster, so if stepping into the next room is what keeps you from doing that, it's doing real work, not just avoiding the moment.

2Another Option: Holding Firmly

NHS guidance also offers the opposite approach as a real alternative, not a lesser one: some parents find firmly holding their child through a tantrum helpful. It notes this can be hard to do and tends to work best when your child seems more upset than angry — in other words, it's a judgment call about what this particular tantrum is, not a universal rule to follow every time.

3What "Ignoring" Actually Means in CDC's Guidance

CDC's parenting guidance does describe removing attention — ignoring — as a real tool, but it frames that tool for "minor misbehaviors that you don't want to encourage," not for a toddler in the middle of being emotionally overwhelmed. For the bigger emotional moments, the same guidance points toward emotion coaching instead — naming the feeling out loud — rather than withdrawing. The one thing CDC is specific about either way: giving in to end the tantrum teaches a child that crying loudly works, so whatever you do, that part shouldn't change.